In my own world, my day-to-day getting up and going to work and being an educator, I feel pretty confident. Not overly confident (I hope) but enough to believe that I can do the work. I try to put in the time, at the desk, in the classroom, reading and studying and keeping up on the research. When I tell people that I am an educator, I believe it.
But I struggle with calling myself a drummer or a writer. I am putting in the time, practicing those rhythms, writing words, reading the music book, watching other drummers, reading about writing, taking up writing challenges. But I hesitate to say that I am . . . I wonder what it will take to give me that confidence? performance? publication?
Today I read a piece about doubt and it ended with asking a good question; if doubt is a seed, what doubts are being planting in my so that I can grow?
lining up my words 
Maybe if you say it aloud, in the privacy of your own home, enough times, you’ll begin to believe that you ARE a drummer and a writer. 🙂
This is interesting to think about in the context of our students as well – what does it take for them to view themselves as writers?
oooh love your comment Mrs. V – I have the same hesitation about anything I do that I’m not paid for – I had to sell my dolls before I called myself a doll maker, I’m still not up to calling myself a fabric artist although I’ve been paid for some of it. mmm what does that say?
Thanks for the reflective nature of this slice. Accepting new personas is hard — especially when we have waited so long and worked so hard to become something new. Today I saw Stacey’s & my book advertised in the NCTE Conference magazine and I said to my husband, “Does this mean I count as a writer?”
He responded, “No, Silly, you counted as a writer when you began collecting words.”
He’s right — we shouldn’t need publication to believe we are writers. The act of putting words on the page ought to be enough. (Or putting sticks to the drum . . . )
Claim being a drummer and a writer — these roles help make you who you are!
I agree with Ruth, though I totally understand what you mean. We are so conditioned to seek external validation that we often neglect giving ourselves proper credit for all that we are and all that we can do. How empowering to claim not only the roles we have (son, daughter, teacher, friend) but those we aspire to and may only have amateur status in right now…
I agree. It’s easy for me to say it BUT YOU ARE A DRUMMER AND A WRITER! Me, I’m a WRITER, a TEACHER, a guitarist?
Bonnie
I remember the first time I called myself a writer… it was actually during a class I was teaching. I was standing in front of 65 teachers, teaching about writing, and without thinking, I said, “As a writer myself…” and went on to talk about my own experience as a writer. The thing is, I realized in that moment, I have always been a writer. Luckily, I have grown a LOT over time and hopefully continue to do so. Nobody said you have to be an expert before you can call yourself a biker, cook, teacher, lover, or even friend… but, the commitment that arises when claiming something adds motivation, and determination. After I taught that class, I took my “next step” as a writer. I let my writing become public (not published, public). I shared my blog address with teachers, I wrote on my website for my job, and I wrote sample materials to send out for teachers to ponder. I think you just have to live the process… you ARE a writer, that is obvious, because you wrote. Embrace that, and hopefully, each little step toward whatever is next for you AS a writer will sink in and swell. 🙂
My husband recently started playing the drums, and i have observed many of the same qualities in both being a writer and a drummer. Practicing hard, never giving up, searching for experts to observe, and of course more practice. I believe there are many hidden lessons to be learned in playing the drums.