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Posts Tagged ‘change’

going caffeine-free

I have often said that I could never give up caffeine.  I really enjoy my morning cup of coffee but lately, those cups have kept coming throughout the day.  When we moved our school this fall, I was no longer within walking distance of a Starbucks and found that it was easier to opt for a cup of tea at work.  Then my co-worker gave up caffeine for health reasons.  She kept telling me I should go along on this ride and I steadfastly refused.  But, I am beginning to cave.  Not completely mind you – I still want that first cup of coffee when I come downstairs to do my morning reading.  But I found a few new caffeine-free teas that I really like so I am making an effort to limit my caffeine to one cup of coffee in the morning.  I have actually stretched that a bit by adding boiling water to my cup so that I can have two cups with the caffeine of one.  I find myself drawn to the tea aisle in the grocery store now, looking for caffeine free teas.  What is really interesting is how others react when you say you are cutting caffeine out.  It seems to create anxiety for a lot of people.   It has only been a week so I don’t know if this might help my sleep patterns then I will have more support for my case.

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Day 14 – packing

packingIf it were not for the sense of urgency I feel, there would be a sadness about this task.  Helping my parents pack up after 21 years of wonderful living in a beautiful home.  There are more than memories in this house.  There is evidence of who they are, who mom was before the alzheimer’s began to take hold.  But with less than 48 hours before the truck arrives, there isn’t time for any more trips down memory lane.  There will be plenty of time for that when they unpack some of these boxes that hold paper and pictures that we couldn’t quite toss.  I am trying to hold on to the idea that these memories are also in my head and my heart, places that don’t need to be packed – thank goodness.

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jessica at door

First there was mom’s health issues.  Then the flurry of excitement and emotion with the wedding.  The weeks that have followed have been full of work and a To-do list that is overflowing so it isn’t surprising that when there was finally a break in the action, the immune system would also break down.  This week, as I climb out of the fog and congestion, I revisited the online gallery of wedding photos and I was struck by the beauty of this one.  There are many transitions in my life right now.  Many more in her life.  Some are like going out the door and knowing what will greet us.  Others are like standing at the door, hand on the knob, wondering what will greet us on the other side.

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An obstructed view

limited viewThis picture was unintentional.  Occasionally my lens cover doesn’t open all the way and I get this obstructed view photo.  But it is symbolic of how this last week has gone.  So much excitement, so much activity, too little sleep.  The emotions are up and down and all over the place.  And the advice that I am getting is equally overwhelming.  Right now my view is obstructed.  It is hard to see past the current day.  Hard to imagine the next weeks or months.  I am not a person who chases after change but I am thinking that this might be a time to get a bit more comfortable with the possibilities and unknowns.  I need to make sure the lens is wide open so I can see what is coming.

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