Posts Tagged ‘looking for beauty’

may-3-002I have had a number of people tell me how sorry they are that my mom has Alzheimer’s and at first I did feel very sorry for myself.  When my mom stopping picking up the phone to call and chat, when our conversations felt forced and she couldn’t remember for even a few minutes the details of my life, I felt cheated.  I wasn’t ready to lose her.  But these last few weeks, sitting with her in the hospital, I have found that I am not losing her, we are just redefining our relationship.  She reaches for my hand and cups my face as I kiss her goodbye in a way that she hasn’t done since I was a child.  And she always asks about the wedding and the bride.  How is she doing with all the plans?  Is she getting nervous?  Is everything ready?  She talks more often of my own wedding which she pretty much planned on her own.  It amazes me that she is holding on to this piece of our current reality.  Just one week and our bride will be ready to walk down the aisle.  And it looks like mom will be able to come home and be with us for that important day.  So yes, there is loss and many changes that I would never have chosen, but there is also beauty on this new path that we are walking.

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